i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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