The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
