i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
