i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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