Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
