Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
