did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
