I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
