dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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