So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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