my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
