While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
