I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
