next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
