I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize