I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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