You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
