So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
