I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
