i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
