yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
