I smell stomach acid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
