Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
