I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
