3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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