so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
