Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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