I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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