The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
