guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
