Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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