This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
