i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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