what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
