okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
