Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
