you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
