He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
