i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
