i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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