OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Someone shattered a urinal.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
