i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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