just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
