Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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