Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
