I'm really into asian looking animals
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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