no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
