a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
