aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
