Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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