the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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